


Is Your Love Strong Enough

by Wolfietheartisticsoul99



Category: Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Blood and Violence, Boys In Love, Domestic Fluff, Drama & Romance, Emotional Sex, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love Triangles, M/M, Minor Character Death, Original Character Death(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Stalking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:06:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27202913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfietheartisticsoul99/pseuds/Wolfietheartisticsoul99
Summary: Elio and Oliver’s relationship had proven itself to be strong in the face of murder with the lovers now in a deep and loving relationship with Oliver being a best selling author in the peak of his fame and Elio working his way up to becoming a legend, things seem good for them. The Year is 2021 and the couple had thought they had faced the worst of tragedies and came out strong but now with the news of the Coronavirus hitting the world, Elio and Oliver face new dangers, with family, death and chaos all around them both of their lives are about to change... again.
Relationships: Oliver & Elio Perlman ×Oliver/Oliver's Fiancee(oc) ×Lincoln Willows/Karen Willows(ocs) ×
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the official sequel of If I Had A Heart ^_^
> 
> As always Trigger Warnings are going to be put in place at the beginning of very chapter and notes will be at the end of each chapter. there will be other languages in this story so I will be using google translate again if any translations, are wrong please feel free to correct me. 
> 
> Also if you haven't read the first story I suggest going back and reading "If I Had A Heart" to understand what Is going to happen within this story.

Chapter 1: One Year Later

Summary: Boyfriend. That is a title that I am still getting used to. I never thought that I would go from being Oliver the escort to Oliver the boyfriend bringing in the new year. I will never forget the day when I professed my love to the boy that changed my life for the better in so many ways than one. 

present day: New York City: January 1st, 2021- Winter  
10:11am

Oliver

It is cold. Really cold, so cold there is snow all over the ground outside, the clouds are so grey and foggy it looks like you stepped off your front porch and landed your ass straight into Silent Hill. well, minus pyramid head and the sexy nurses, endless screaming etc. Except for I am standing in it, dressed in the warmest clothes I could find more specifically jeans, a blue thermal sweater, over a plain white t-shirt, and two jackets. My lighter jacket and my heavy coat over it with the lapels pulled up and the hood over my head.

I was in the middle of my rounds for my book tour for If I Had A Heart, when I thought it would be a good idea to make a little pit-stop along my journey while in New York City. 

See, things had been good to me since the murder of Elio’s father and the whole jumbled up mess that happened to us that lead me to this point of my life. I recently moved away from Seattle to get away from Scarlet, her crazy ass family and just leave that all behind me to once again, for the second time start fresh. So much so that I changed the color of my hair to blond and grew it out some so that I look like a totally different person, I stopped wearing my earrings and let the holes close up. The only thing that stayed the same were my tattoos. I am sorry but my tattoos are my favorite, there is no way I am getting rid of them. But I didn’t want the rest of the Dominguez family following me and trying to kill me after what I did to their “precious lady of the nile” why?

My book got published in November. November 5th to be more specific and basically exploded into the mainstream media after Scarlet’s trial. She got sentenced to 30 years in prison for Samuel’s murder, plus life without parol for kidnapping Elio. 

Now, before I continue let me make something clear so there is no confusion. Yes the book I wrote is based off of what happened to myself and Elio as well as those around us. However, I do not take pleasure in some people saying that I got famous because of Mr. Perlman’s death and that my “success” came from stealing another person's tragedy and that what I did was very vain, disrespectful and shallow. I personally, and I speak for myself when I say this… that I wrote the book to pay respects to a man who changed my life and helped me in such a way that I never thought possible. I love Samuel Perlman and always will have the utmost respect for him until the day that I die. All of the names I changed and certain details I left out completely out of respect for not only his family but for also my boyfriend’s sake. 

The next thing I know, my publisher calls me and tells me that I am a massive hit, and I am thrown on a plane without any warning and going around the world doing interviews, book signings, and signing autographs like a celebrity and with the “celebrity status”come the fans. Which is very strange and new to me in a way that is both exciting and also terrifying at the same time, to have random people come up to me and be like “Oh my god! Your Oliver you wrote blah blah I found it interesting.’ or someone telling me that the book is trash.” and then try to eat at a restaurant, or go out by yourself and tabloids are putting you on blast, directors calling to talk about getting the rights to your book to make a movie. 

So this little pit-stop involves the third big change that happened in my life and the reason I am in New York not just for my book. You heard me say “boyfriend” well, you would be correct. I have a boyfriend. 

Boyfriend. That is a title that I am still getting used to being called and used to saying. I never thought that I would go from being Oliver the escort to Oliver the boyfriend bringing in the new year. I will never forget the day when I professed my love to the boy that changed my life for the better in so many ways than one. It is a change that I welcome and very much are enjoying since then it has been a wonderful ride. 

“Elio, whatever happens between us from here to now. Never say that you didn’t know that this is real, that this feeling is real, from my heart to yours.” 

Is what I remember saying to him that evening on Luca’s couch listening to the perfect song, with the perfect ambiance, in the perfect city, the perfect timing of it with the perfect person. My perfect person, who I couldn’t ask for anyone better than Elio. 

So I decided to take it upon myself to surprise him and head to his apartment, I say his but what I really mean is our apartment. Not too long ago, we moved in together two months after I heard about my book that was published. We hadn’t gotten much time to see each other since our schedules are pretty hectic sometimes and we aren’t always in the same city or state to get together so, sadly we have to do the long distance thing most times but we have found ways to entertain each other. 

Today though it is his day off he told me so last night when we were on the phone together. I was in Ohio at the time. 

I make my way up the street looking at the signs and counting the buildings as I pass them when I stop on Franklin street and come face to face with a three story building with multiple square windows, a few fire escapes, and concrete steps leading up to the main door. 

As soon as I open the door and make my way up to Elio’s floor, I can feel the excitement in my heart, and I can feel my body tingle from the cold, my hands are freezing and my nose is red from the freezing temperature outside. But that doesn’t stop my quick movements to try and warm up faster then I stop at the end of the hallway so close to our door and I see his long curly mop of hair and his back facing me. He has a small bucket under his arm and seems to be in a good mood because he is humming a familiar song that I know so well. 

‘What in the hell is he doing with an ice bucket?’

He is humming Sufjan Stevens “Run Away With Me” the very song that Luca was going to put in his movie once he made it. I guess you could call that our song. To be more specific he is humming the chorus to the song and I smile to myself then whistle the rest of it just loud enough for him to hear it. 

And I say, love (and I say love)  
Come run away with me  
You're all I ever need

I watch him stop mid step and stand there for a good minute, back straight then I watch Elio slowly turn around as if his ears recognize the very sound of my whistle. Processing it, taking it into his mind and watching him go, his face lights up and that beautiful smile graces his red lips to show off his dimples. His eyes shine with excitement, like a puppy he runs to me dropping the bucket onto the floor with a loud bang his bare feet taking off against the carpet.

“Oliver!” his body smacks directly into mine I feel his love seep right into my very clothes as his arms wrap around my neck, his fingers stroke my hair and the side of my face with his close to mine, he nuzzles me as I wrap my left arm around his lower back, my right hand slides up his shoulder blades, up caressing the nape of his neck.

“Surprise.” I whisper into his ear softly before he steals my lips from me, kissing me tenderly yet, desperately it makes my heart pound in my chest and I let out a soft whimpering moan, breaking the kiss completely. Both of us needed to breathe otherwise, that could have gone on just a little longer.

“You’re here.” 

“I am. Why are you carrying an ice bucket down the hallway?and why don’t you have socks on Elio, it's freezing outside.”

I see his cheeks turn pink. “I was just going to see if I could get some ice out the machine downstairs but then you came and distracted me.”

“You were going to go get ice barefooted while humming Sufjan Stevens down the hallway at 10:30 in the morning with it freezing balls cold outside.” I say slowly confirming what he was trying to tell me as I make a point by putting my cold fingers against his bare skin and he squeals jumping away from my hold on him. 

“Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Cold hands! Cold holy!! Oh my god! Okay, we need to get your in front of the fireplace like right now. Let’s go mister!” 

He drops down to his feet and I watch him run to get the bucket then run back to me, taking me by the hand he leads me down the hallway and to our door, opening it quickly he steps aside and lets me go first after that he steps behind me and shuts the door, locking it behind him. 

“What about your ice?” I slip my heavy coat off and hang it on the hook by the front door, as I watch him put the bucket down on the island.

“It can wait, you are more important.” he beams at me and I chuckle ruffling his curls briefly before he takes the right end of my sleeve, helping me pull it off with ease. 

“Thank you.” I murmur kissing his forehead as I let him take my jacket from me. I toe off my boots at the door, my socks come out of their confines, having slid underneath my heel and have turned into flippers on both feet. 

“Why don’t you go sit by the fire and I’ll make us some hot chocolate.” he gestures with his hand to the living room and I go without hesitation, plopping my cold, aching body on the carpet, I pull off my socks and allow my feet to breathe giving a heavy relaxed sigh I suddenly feel tired and worn out from my flight.

****

Elio 

I can’t believe he is actually home things have been really lonely around here. Things around here have been really lonely. I was starting to get used to Oliver’s presence, by the little things him constantly being in the kitchen, the clattering of the plates, and utensils as he was always cooking something whether it was breakfast, lunch, dinner, or just a snack. Oliver loved being in the kitchen and would often not let me in there unless it was to get a drink. The smell of his aftershave when he got out of the shower, the constant tapping of his fingers on the keyboard and his soft, soothing voice as he speaks to himself as he thinks out loud, the turning of a page as he reads a book on his breaks. 

I also missed the intimacy of our relationship as well, those little moments that happened between us that would make me feel all fuzzy and for a lack of a better word yearn for more. The kisses, the hugs, the late at night conversations we would have no matter where we were, snuggling together under a blanket, going swimming together, the way he would brush my curls out of my face just to have them bounce back, making me laugh. The last thing that I missed was the sex, you can only do so much over skyping, talking on the phone, and sending text messages back and forth. Having our skin touch each other was one of the biggest comforts to me, just knowing that we could still turn each other on after dealing with what we did sated any anxieties I had over what comes along with ldrs and if we had an issue we would talk it out like adults.

Even though we haven’t been together long, I find it still surprising when we are back together it feels like we have never been apart. 

In those 3 months that we had been apart I have been busying myself with my music, cranking out a new album, going on tv for interviews, magazine interviews, taking pictures with fans and dealing with the much bigger fame that came. It happened after my concert with Yanni, and then it was like wildfire. The next thing I know I was trending on instagram, my inbox was filled with messages from fans wanting a friend request. 

I am still getting used to all of my privacy being invaded by a bunch of strangers and don’t get me even started on the fake rps that people have been doing on facebook, and all of the people on tumblr nit picking every little thing about my life, after going through my father’s death, my kidnapping and the emotional stress of trying to get over the nightmares of both of those things. There were some people who left it alone and would give me sympathy, defend me by saying, “enough is enough! Leave Elio alone! He doesn’t have to explain anything to you and his life is his business!” but no matter how much you want the haters to go away they will always be there.  
I was only thankful that my relationship with Oliver had not been found out to the public. The only people that knew about our relationship were my uncle Luca, my mother, mafalda, Anchise, and a few of my father’s friends who saw no problem with our relationship. 

“How many marshmallows do you want in your cup?” I ask when Oliver’s voice floats to my ears asking if I could put marshmallows in his hot chocolate. 

“Three please.” 

‘I plop the small marshmallows into his cup and then drop four into my own before taking our hot chocolates into the living room, handing him over his and taking a tiny sip of my own as I sit down next to him on the floor. I watch him take a few sips, a moan of pleasure escaping his mouth as he closes his eyes, his head tilting back slowly to take a much bigger sip, before setting the cup on the table behind us with a soft tap. 

“What?” I ask glancing at him when he looks at me with his head tilted slightly, his eyes giving a glow as the fire turns in them, like a reflection. The look is one of adoration, love mixed with need that makes my stomach flutter a little. 

“What are you doing sitting over there?” I watch him straighten out his legs in front of him, spreading them slightly, he rests his back against the coffee table, his arms lying to his sides, and he motions with his eyes. “Get over here, you.” 

I smile and set my cup next to his cup then maneuvered myself in between Oliver’s legs and he turns me around so that my back his to his chest, my legs on top of his legs, the back of my head rests on his left shoulder, and I feel his arms swallow me up, wrapping around me, hugging me tightly to his chest, his face nuzzling my neck he sighs. 

“Better now?” I reply with a light giggle when I feel his nose brush up against my skin, breathing in my scent, I reach up rubbing the back of his head petting his hair. The fingers of my other hand lightly brushed against the hair on his forearm, humming when he kisses my pulse, 

“Yes. As much as I love promoting my book, traveling around the world to all these different places… not even the fancy hotel rooms compare to being at home with you. Like this... just like this, snuggling and touching, kissing…” 

He punctuates each word with small little pecks up my neck, to my cheek until his lips finally reach my mouth. “I miss you.” he runs his thumb over my bottom lip and I give him my wide toothy grin.

“So… how do you like being a famous author now? Is it everything you hoped and thought it would be or are you regretting it already before it ever begins?” I chuckle when he ruffles my hair.

“As compared to being a non famous person who used to have privacy and didn’t know a damn thing about me? It’s interesting and scary, you weren't kidding when you said that you don’t get any type of privacy. I don’t know how you do it baby.”

I reach over and grab my hot chocolate holding the mug in my hands, just to hold it. The warmth toasting my fingers but not hot enough to burn me, as I take in Oliver’s words. 

“I told you that it was crazy just wait until you start finding fan-fiction written about you by your fans.” I chuckle, when I hear Oliver’s gasp at my comment. 

“Is it so bad that your fans want to write fantasies about you? Putting you in different situations that you probably wouldn’t find yourself in. I mean... I think a lot of it is just teenage girls and boys who just admire you so much and that they appreciate what you do as an artist. So it is their way of saying thank you.” 

He stops talking after that and I look up to see him drinking his hot chocolate down in one gulp, chewing on the last of his marshmallows then sets his empty cup back on the table. 

“It bothers me when they start putting me in ships with people that are my friends, who I am not romantically interested it at all! and now knowing that I have a boyfriend-" 

Oliver laughs at me shaking his head, he takes my cup away from me and sets it back on the table, I turn to face him and he looks into my eyes giving me a fond look of amusement. As my eyebrows furrow, I didn’t find it funny. I was worried about it, I wanted people to respect my privacy but that didn’t mean I wanted people telling stories about me either. 

“You think that the fan ships are going to break this up? Oh goose, you are fucking adorable you know that. Your slight jealousy is sexy but I promise you, those stories are exactly what it is. They are just stories, this is real and there is nothing that is going to stop this relationship, I went through hell finding you and I don’t plan on giving this up over a fan’s sexy fantasy of what they wish the reality to be. I love you and nothing is going to change my mind or make me think differently, not even a fan.” 

I giggle shifting so that my knees are on both sides of Oliver’s and I give him a smirk. “Sexy fantasies huh? And what makes you think that is what they are writing about?”  
“What makes you think they aren’t? Or do you not remember that I used to work for a crazy cartel as a drug mule who allowed people who used an escort service as a cover up! I don't think they are writing fantasies. Elio I know they are writing about you in very graphic, sexy fantasies with whoever it is they think you are dating with the help of a PR team….” 

He trails off as if thinking of what he was going to say next as I entertain his little theory as I forget about my hot chocolate. “And….” I push nudging him with my head lightly in the chest. 

He gives me a wide canine tooth smile, his hands running up and underneath the hem of my shirt, touching my warmed skin, slowly.

“And while they are busy doing that and some of them feeding into the bullshit, that your team pushes out and forces you to go through, in order to get your name out there, to keep you relevant, and to keep you getting shows…”

I lean back arching my back into his touch, as my fingers play with the collar of his shirt, opening it up and running my fingers over his collar bone, going down over his shoulders, as Oliver’s fingers continue to roam over my back. He tickles my skin and I feel my scalp prickle as he talks softly in that tone that makes me shiver in anticipation. 

“I get to come home to you, have you in our bed to snuggle with-” He kisses my jaw, slowly moving it across to the other side. I sigh softly tilting my head to the left. “To have someone to make out with….” I let my hands go down to his forearms and gently hold onto him squeezing before moving my hands to his thighs, resting them there, biting my lip to keep my moan in my mouth. 

“To give all my love to….” he kisses my adam’s apple as I swallow letting a groan slip out as my head tilts back and my smile grows as I sink further into his touch. 

“And I get to make love to you as much as you want me to.” I look at him with my eyes hooded and my mouth slightly parted as I stare at his mouth. I can feel the spark and pull of the energy between us that was there when I first had met him. He is so close. We are so close. 

He laughs and playfully pushes me with both of his hands against my shoulders, jolting me and I fall to the side, of him and I am thrashing about as I am tickled. My giggles turn into full blow loud laughter that echos off the walls and fills my heart with a joy that I can't describe as I try my best to stop his fingers. as he follows me down until I am on my back. 

“So I am not jealous or worried about those stories or the PR teams or whatever gossip that does around on the internet and neither should you.” he rubs his nose against mine, holding my hands above my head with his own, and I give his hands a squeeze, my legs wrapping around his waist pulling him closer to me.

“Okay.” I whisper softly looking into his eyes. “I love you, my Elio.” 

“I love you, most my Oliver.” he whispers back, taking my hand and pressing it to his heart. 

To Be Continued.


	2. Insatiable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What if my body-just my body, my heart- cried out for his? What to do then? What if at night I wouldn’t be able to live with myself unless I had him by me, inside of me? What then?”-Elio Perlman, (Call Me By Your Name) by Andre Aciman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger Warning*  
> This be smutty fluff yup this is what this be so you have been warned turn away now while you have the chance if not then feel free to continue. I was trying to find the right balance of both when writing this so yeah, that is pretty much all this chapter is XD chapter 3 will make up for it. 
> 
> (Notes: The title for this chapter comes from the song “Insatiable” by Darren Hayes, As for the quote it is one of my personal favorites from the book itself and I thought it would be the perfect one to use for this very chapter. The boys haven’t seen each other in quite some time so it’s about time they caught up with each other. XD we start out with Elio’s point of view then switch also there is such a thing called sexual swaddling that I learned as of recently so I thought it would be something Elio and Oliver would try.)

Elio

‘What if my body-just my body, my heart- cried out for his? What to do then? What if at night I wouldn’t be able to live with myself unless I had him by me, inside of me? What then?’ 

These are the very words that I would think about each and every time we had to be apart. When we would go our separate ways, it was like my heart was being torn in two and he was taking the other half with him. I would become nervous, not out of fear that he would cheat on me or anything like that which is a rational fear that most people have when it comes to their partners leaving to far away places. But not me, no I was more worried that something bad was going to happen to him, that fear stemmed from when I thought he had died during our chase with that crazy woman Scarlet. 

I know I don’t have anything to worry about now because that woman is in prison and is never getting out. Yet, the fear of Oliver not being with me still scares me, but I trust him with my whole heart. It took time of course, but we got there and here we are together again, 

Sure we had skype, e-mail, commenting on each other’s instagram posts, liking each other’s pictures and then during different points of the day we would call each other on the phone. That kept me sane for a while when I was on tour doing concerts in Florida, Germany, and Bangkok but when it was night time, when everything was dead silent after we had said good night and I love you to each other…. That is when my thoughts would kick in and those words would fill my head, and my anxiety would kick in and I would be up all night, 

I needed him beside me, and when it came to sex there is only so many nights a guy can jerk off before, you can’t even stand the look of your own hand. No I wanted him, needed him inside of me, to have him be a part of me again. Not just physically but emotionally too. Intimacy in general is what I miss about us. 

People don’t understand that there is more than one kind of intimacy in life it isn’t just sex true intimacy I have learned that it is the little things that make intimacy, the conversations we have, when the dish washer is filled with clean dishes and I am too tired to clean them out, Oliver offers to empty it out for me. Or when I am stressed out and he just knows to give me space for a couple of hours by myself before we come back together. 

“Is that my sweater?” Oliver inquires with a raised eyebrow as he fingers the black and white knitting of the sweater that looks like salt and pepper threw up all over it. Touching the collar, and down where the neck hole has exposed a part of my shoulder and I look at him with playful defiance, poking his cheek with my index finger.

“No. it’s not your sweater. It is OUR sweater, I just happen to be wearing it because it is my turn.” I say, putting the emphasis on the word our to make a point that it was indeed ours. 

We had made an agreement with each other that this sweater would be traded back and forth between us if one of us was missing the other, while we were away. 

This agreement started the day that Oliver came to visit me at Luca’s house after I had gotten home from the hospital and so had he. Not going to go into any specifics here, but basically we had a conversation about how much we missed each other and that if we were going to have an actual real romantic relationship, then we were going to set ground rules. What came out of that conversation was me asking for two of his shirts to keep, that I could have covered in his scent. He agreed saying, 

“Alright, I will give you my light blue one and my black and white sweater, however… this one has a stipulation Elio.”

“Name it.” 

“This one we share as a physical manifestation of our relationship okay, when you wear this sweater no matter where we are in the world. No matter who we are with at that time, in that moment, when either of us wears this shirt it is a sign that one of us is thinking about the other and it will always mix our scents together. Deal?” the black and white one is ours, the light blue one is yours.” 

“Deal.” 

“Oh I see, and what other items of clothing have you stolen out of my side of the closet. Hm? I seem to remember you having a habit of snatching things that are mine and wearing it. Like my star of David.” 

“Hey! You were the one that left it behind when you were in my parent’s house. Mister “I have to go back to work.” I roll my eyes and he laughs at me,, “ I was just taking advantage of an opportunity and for the record, I had every intention on giving it back but you were the one that told me and I quote you word for word sweetheart, 

“You can have it, it looks better on you anyway. So ha! If you want your turn with this sweater you are going to have to pry it off of my body yourself.” 

I stick my tongue out at him and shove him playfully before taking off toward the bedroom, laughing. I hear him get up his hand loudly slapping on the coffee table, his way of “intimidating'' me when really he is just being playful and then I hear his feet coming, those heavy thuds turn into booms and then the next thing I hear is a whisper as I hide behind the bedroom door, my body pressed up against the wall. 

“Oliver… I know you’re in here you can’t hide from me forever.”

I stifle a giggle by putting my hand over my mouth as I watch through the small crack. The only light is day seeping through the cracks of the blinds. He is walking around stopping briefly to look in the bathroom first, I hear the sound of metal scraping metal as the shower curtain slides across the metal rod that it hangs on. 

Then I watch him get on his knees and bend at the waist to look under the bed, then he stands back up slowly, going to the closet, I hear it creak open and the flick of the light and our clothes being shifted around then I hear him sigh. 

“Well, looks like I’ll be going to bed by myself…. In this big comfy bed with all these pillows, and these heavenly blankets that smell so good of Mafalda’s detergent.” I watch him stretch his arms over his head, and sit down the moment he does he reaches for my pillow. 

“And I get all these pillows to myself.” 

That’s when I spring out from behind the door, run across the room and full on tackle Oliver using my weight as leverage and his height against him to knock him onto his back. He goes willingly laughing as I snag my pillow from him and proceed to whack him playfully with it before he retaliates and bops me in the side with his own pillow that is a lot firmer than my own. 

“Merde!” I say dramatically and fall over in defeat with a hand to my chest on my back I go, my legs sprawled out before me, my curls fanned out. I watch him crawl to me using his arms, to army crawl until he is between my legs and his forehead is touching my forehead, his eyes staring into mine. 

“You are such a goof Elio.” he comments affectionately kissing the end of my nose and I blush. Yup, there is no denying the effect that Oliver has on my very body at this moment. His tenderness towards me is turning me on and makes my heart melt at the same time. I want to touch him, need to touch at this point I am craving skin to skin contact with the person I love. 

“You’re a goof.” I lean up and pull his bottom lip into my mouth, his mouth seals around my lips and I moan, I let my fingers slide over his back underneath the hem of his sweater, letting them crawl I push up his shirt until Oliver gets the hint and releases me, back on his knees, he pulls the shirt up over his head tossing it onto the floor. 

We go back and forth like this, stripping each other of our clothing until there is nothing but our skin and we just stare at each other's bodies. Not really saying anything just looking at each other up and down, slowly kinda like they do in the movies when they are just in awe by someone they have a crush on then Oliver gets that goofy smile and I start laughing. 

“Are you going to gawk at me all day? Or….” I trail off taking his hand, nuzzle it with my lips, and kiss each one of his fingers. “Are you going to do what you have been wanting to do, since we came into the house.” I say each word slowly as I kiss each one of his fingers and watch his beautiful eyes darken and he holds his breath. 

I let my mouth travel up to his wrist all the way up his arm as Gomez does to Morticia. He whispers my name on a breath and the moment my lips touch that tattoo on his neck, his fingers are stroking the back of my neck, the fingers of his other hand cradles the back of my neck and his nose brushes my pulse and I can smell the shampoo of vanilla in his hair.

Next thing I know we both go down and I am on my back on soft white sheets with him on top of me.

***

Oliver 

I pin his hands above his head with one of my hands. His tiny wrists can fit in one hand alone and it still amazes me just how small he is for only being 5’10. When we first did this, I was scared that I was going to crush him underneath my body but he loves my weight on him. He said it made him feel safe being in my arms, having my whole body on top of his during the night when we snuggle. 

It is taking everything in me not to go fast as I devour every inch of Elio’s skin with my mouth, sucking on his neck, going back up to press my lips to his chin, down the front of his throat where I feel him swallow a breath and hear my name come out of his mouth. He wiggles underneath me bumping his hips up against my lower abdomen and I chuckle feeling him twitch against me, his body stretching, he’s trying to get out of my hold. 

I continue to tease him with my mouth covering his neck in mark after mark of my love for him. Until I’m done I let go of his hands and his fingers tug lightly at the back of my head, telling me to lift my head. He kisses me and I can taste blood on my tongue, and I know it's from Elio biting his lip too hard. 

“Up on your forearms.” I whisper against his lips and he does as I say. It’s not time for lube yet, but I figured why not bust it out early. It will make things easier for both of us when we both turn into ravenous monsters later. 

I move back and to the side opening the drawer I pull out two bottles of the stuff and set it on the table. When I turn back to Elio he is looking at me with a surprised look on his face, his lip between his teeth again. He asks the silent question that I already know the answer to and nod not speaking. 

‘Yes Elio, you are going to get to fuck me too just be patient.’

On my hands and knees I place myself in front of Elio again, I press my lips to his forehead and feel the flutter of his eyelashes against my cheek when I press my lips to his ear. 

“I want you to watch me Elio. if you look away from me I will stop and we will start all over.” my voice is rough with desire, as I put the mental picture in his mind of what I am about to do. “I want to worship you, my Oliver. I want to slide my mouth over your precious dick until you are all the way in and I am going to work you over until you are on the verge of screaming and you my love are going to watch me do this. Understand?”

His body shutters and he breathes, “Elio.” 

I smirk and pull away beginning the journey, licking a pathway down his chest, barely brushing over his left nipple before skimming over the middle of his sternum, down further to his stomach. My eyes glance up at him and his cheeks are pink, his breath becoming slightly heavy and he licks his lips at me in anticipation not looking away from me. 

When I reach my destination my mouth waters at the very thought of having his skin in my mouth without the horrible plastic taste of a condom. No more, we stopped using them after we got together permanently and since then we have both gotten tested regularly and so far, things have been good for both of us. 

He bends his left knee while keeping the other one straight on the bed as I lower my head, my eyes stay with him, I give him a long swipe of my tongue and I see his hands flex on the sheet, his mouth parting but nothing comes out and I continue licking him up and down, head to shaft, shaft to head watching him. 

It's when I take him slowly into my mouth that he slams his hand down on the bed, groaning out loud, his head falling back for a brief moment, I see his chest turn a shade of pink and I see his cheeks turn the same color. His green eyes darkening I make an obscene noise as I begin to suck and I am rewarded with Elio’s lovely mouth grace me with the french words meaning “oh shit” and “please” followed by a deep moan that I am sure the neighbors can hear. 

Elio tightly wound up and so am I. It's been too long since we have been like this, and as much as I want to drag this out I don’t. I pick up the pace of my mouth and start to fondle his balls in my other hand, as his hips rock back and forth into my mouth and I nearly come myself when he lets out a strangled whimper, drawing up in my hand. 

With a few more strokes of my mouth I’m rewarded with the taste of his cum on my tongue. His fingers reaching for my shoulders pulling me up to him, he is giggling and panting. 

“What?” I can stop the smile that pulls at my cheeks.

“You uh…. There’s….” he can’t even bring himself to say the words but he puts his finger to my cheek and shows me the glistening drop. “I’m sorry.” he flushes and I shake my head, he is about to wipe it on the sheet when I grab his wrist stopping him. 

“What are you doing?” I tilt my head at him, give him a devilish smirk and open my mouth slowly. “Oh no O… Oliver thats gross don’t-”

I look at him offended. “There is nothing gross about you Elio. Nothing, not the way your body looks, or even this. Is it so wrong that I enjoy every part of you? Even the parts you think are gross…” I make a point by putting his finger on my tongue and licking his very essence off, swallowing it for a second he blinks almost astonished or is that something else in his eyes.

“From the looks of it you don’t seem to mind either.” I smirks taking him into my hand again, he digs his fingers into my forearm not enough to hurt, while his other arm wraps around my neck, and pulls me down to him, easily I go laughing as he kisses me all over my face. Light feathery kisses that stop my heart and turn me into a giant sap.

“Oh shut up and give me the bottle… prostitute.” he mumurs the look he once had in his eyes turned devious and I stick my hand out of the sheet, in a dramatic fashion and he squirms trying to get away. 

“asshole! Ah! Ha ha! That cold Oliver!” His hands scramble to push me away but my body goes with him. My cold hand touches every inch of his heated skin and he screams, laughing and cursing me until he is panting for a breath. 

“Are you going to take it back?” A playful glint in my eye he growls at me and bites my shoulder in answer, and I have no choice but to roll over onto my back, pull him with me, so that he sits on top of me, his hair falling into his eyes.

“Yes I’m sorry! You are not a prostitute, you're god and I am just a lowly musician whose skills doesn’t deserve such praise as you-”

“Alright! I wouldn’t go that far Elio. besides, I was just fucking with you baby or have you forgotten that I love to mess with you when I can.” 

“Well if someone would give me that lovely bottle over there, that clearly says lube on it then we could get to the fucking then couldn’t we?” 

‘Smart mouth’

“And here I thought the bossy little brat left the building. Well, hello there nice to see he is still around, I was starting to miss him.” 

“I am not bossy! I am overly horny there is a difference and there is a lot of pent up love in this tiny little body of mine, that is dying to come out so please Oliver give me the bottle.”

****

The moment that Elio lowers himself I am at his mercy under his body’s control and I am having to give it to him. For once, I am so glad he is in control of the movement of his hips its forcing me to focus on not losing myself at the feeling of what expands in my chest and spills out of my eyes, I’m sure of it that he can feel my heart beating madly in my chest, just underneath his hands.

His sweat raining down on me as we moved together slowly, unrushed at first but only at first. Elio isn’t one to drag things out as I’ve said before, he is impatient with my patience. I however, don’t care what we do fast, slow, hard, soft, it doesn’t matter it isn’t about the act itself or getting off for me. Not right now, nope this is about me coming back to myself and feeling whole again with the other half of my heart, my very soul. 

One of the deepest connections I have ever felt to another person in my life who means more to me each and every time we are together. 

“Elio, wait… stop for a second. I…. I need you to-” I can’t even get the words out of my mouth but I don’t need to he understands me. He just kisses the side of my head and gets off easy. 

I roll over onto my stomach, bring the sheet with me and he grabs the bottle, pours the lube on his fingers, he prepares me just like I showed him, I screw my eyes shut tight as he goes in slowly, my body trembles and I bite into the pillow groaning. 

“Okay?”

I nod my head looking back at him. “All your weight Elio, like I showed you.” He obliges and lays down pressing his entire weight into my back and I turn my hand over, he slips his hand in mine, holding it while his left grabs a hold of the sheet, using it as leverage. 

The instant I feel his chest to my back, his heart beating underneath his skin into mine, his hand in my hand I feel myself become grounded and safe. The very thought crosses my mind… 

“What if my body-just my body, my heart- cried out for his? What to do then? What if at night I wouldn’t be able to live with myself unless I had him by me, inside of me? What then?”

His thrusts are so deep that I feel him drag along my walls each time he goes back and forth with each thrust, I don’t hide my voice from him. Or my words he needs to know he has to hear them, spill out from my heart to his ears. I squeeze his hand hard. 

“I love you, Elio. I love you, I love you.” the words come out on a gasp as I feel him hit the spot deep within me and my moans become loud and unyielding, mixing with his own as he begins to move faster. I can hear his flesh slapping into my own. It is an obscene and dirty noise but it is one that doesn’t bother me at all. I welcome it. 

“You’re perfect.” he presses a kiss to my shoulder and I swear it shears through my entire body and touches my very heart. 

I grab the back of his head, tighten my fingers into those curls and pull him down to me, capturing his mouth with my own. My tongue invades his mouth, as I tighten my muscles around him, I am so close to falling so very close and so is he because I hear his whimpers the urgency of them.

“You can let go now. I have you.” nothing wrong with a little encouragement, he seems to like the next second I see white and his cum is inside of my body. 

Some time later when we both can move and are back in our bodies again, laying in our favorite position. I lay still with my eyes shut just listening to the wonderful cadence that is his heart beat and I can’t stop smiling. 

“Oliver, “ his voice tickles my hair. 

“What is it, Elly-belly?” That gets me a jab in the ribs and I laugh he really hates when I call him that. He says that nickname was reserved for his papa to call him only. But what he doesn’t understand is I don’t say it to annoy him. I do it to keep the memory of Samuel alive. 

“Can we…. Try something?”

“If it involves me fucking you again, I’m gonna need a lot longer than a minute more preferably when I can feel my entire body again.” 

He giggles from above me then I hear him swallow and his hand pat my shoulder. “Well, it’s not…. Exactly fucking cuz we won’t be doing much moving but I want to try- swaddling.” His voice is shy and it takes me a minute to realize what in the hell he is talking about. 

Swaddling the very intimate act of literally sleeping inside of someone. Fun yet can also be very risky if not careful and can end with a girl becoming pregnant if you aren’t careful and take proper precautions. This is usually done to women but as of recent years and progression and all that good stuff, anyone can do this. 

I personally have never done this because of the rules of being an escort even when it was asked. But I am done with that part of my life so as usual Elio has tickled the intrigued part of my mind for adventure. 

“Elio you do understand what you are asking and what that involves right?”

“Yes Oliver I know exactly what that word means I just want to try it. But if you don’t want to….” I clap my hand over his mouth to stop the endless worry that is about to come out of his mouth.

“Okay, first off I didn’t say anything about not wanting to. I just want you to understand that there is a risk to this and I want you to be fully aware of. That is all. You have a tendency to jump the gun and with this you can’t. Do this wrong Elio and that is where timing and infection come into play.”  
I take my hand away and he is redder than his lips. “I didn’t know about that part of it. I just read the definition and thought it would be fun. Now I’m scared.”

I ruffle his hair. “There is no reason to be scared of this, just do exactly as I tell you and we will both be fine alright? Now, go to the bathroom and go clean yourself up. I will take care of the rest.”  
As Elio is taking care of business I go about tossing the empty bottle of lube in the garbage can, then get out of bed to go deal with the fire in the living room silently praying that it put itself out. Yes that will be the last of our worries if we have to go outside in the snow naked cuz we burned the entire apartment complex down.

When I come back into the room Elio is back on the bed bright, curious and waiting for the next instruction. Hands in his lap, sheet covering his legs. 

“What now? Do we need to do anything?”

“Did you go to the bathroom like I told you to? And wash yourself, all clean?” 

“Do you want to run your finger over my ass cheek and see if it squeaks?” he says sarcastically rolling his eyes at me. “Yes! All clean now, can you please get back in this bed.”

I could drag this out and make him wait longer to see how impatient he can get before I finally decide to give him what he wants but I don’t. I feel myself getting tired and that bed is starting to call my name so I go back to the bed, climb in next to Elio and fix the blankets.

“Lay down on your side and face with your back to me.” 

He raises his eyebrow at me and opens his mouth to say something. I think it is another sarcastic remark but it isn’t. “What if I want to see you?”

“Not for the first time, it will hurt your legs but once we get used to it then, we can try different positions.”

He huffs and falls over onto his side and pats his hand around on the bed searching for me, more specifically he is looking for my hand to hold it. Another habit of his that I love. 

I scoot close to him even just enough space for my hand to go between our bodies and take his hand into my own and then wrap our fingers around me. I move our hands just until I feel myself getting hard again, I feel Elio’s eyes watching me.

“Now who wants to go again? And you tell me I have a problem.”

“No. this is how you do it and this is also where the timing comes in.” He looks at me horrified at first then he seems to understand and shutters at the thought. “Okay now all you do is ease yourself back until I am all the way in and don’t you dare fucking move.” 

Elio smirks at me, his eyes innocent.

“I mean what I say cuz if you move and you make me cum then we will be in trouble. Then we would have to deal with going to the hospital and have to explain what happened while being naked in front of a lot of people. I for one don’t want to do that so be good and be still.”

When I say I remove our hands and he eases back our bodies come closer until there is no space left. I hear Elio breath out into a sigh and I wrap my arms around him tightly, holding each other’s hands, our legs slowly tangle together and I finally relax with a yawn. 

“Hmmm not as bad as I thought.” he says after a while I can hear the grin in his voice. “I told you so. Feel okay nothing hurting?”

He shakes his head. “Nope. no pain. All good.”

I’m just about to drift when I hear his voice again calling my name. “What Elio?”

“Sweet dreams.” 

“Sweet dreams, Oliver.”

***  
Elio

It is the sound of a loud boom that wakes me up from my sleep, wakes me up? More like scares me awake that my body jerks and when I turn to reach for Oliver, he isn’t in the bed with me. For a brief moment, I get this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that he is gone again and I am left alone. 

The sound of rain falling fills my ears and I yawn, snag the comforter off the bed, wrap it around me and slide out of bed. When my feet touch the floor I am hissing in discomfort it is like ice, and I am hopping back and forth across the floor, the hair on my legs standing straight up giving me goosebumps as I hurry out of the room. 

I hear the familiar sound of the tapping, mixed with the sound of crackling from the fire, I can smell the wood burning, and then I get the hint of pumpkin spice creeping in as I get further into the living room. I can feel the heat on the carpet and I make a soft noise as my bare feet are hit with the heat warming the souls of my feet.

I rub my eyes and soon Oliver is in focus with his clothed back to me, shoulders back, his blond hair tossed, and wild, I can see the small remnants of a lit cigarette, the line of smoke coming from his right side, sitting in the green ashtray we got when we first moved in. 

I hear him cough as I make my way over, I don’t say anything to him instead I stay silent, walking over to his chair and pushing my way into his lap. His right arm moves automatically, the tapping stopped for no longer than a second and wraps around my waist, I pull the hem of Oliver’s shirt up just enough to get my head under it and through the neck hole, my arms wrapping around him and I push my face into the crook of his neck. My legs curling around his lower back, locking together. 

‘Skin. warm toasty skin.’

“Somebody have a good nap?” I feel his vocal vibration in soft question as he speaks, he bends down and picks up the blanket and covers me with it, then I sigh in content when I get a massive heart felt bear hug. 

“S’kay” I mumble, keeping my eyes closed, my fingers stroke his back, lazily and once again I feel my heart swell just a little. It isn’t another dream, or some fantasy that I have made for myself when I masterbate. He is actually here and I don’t plan on moving from this spot.

“Just okay?” 

I make a soft noise in the back of my throat that sounds like a light whine mixed with a hum and he reaches up stroking my hair, or what hair he can with my head so close to him. 

“Not ready to speak a full sentence yet huh?”  
I shake my head back and forth, my hair tickling his neck makes him laugh softly in that ‘what am I going to do with you’ kind of way. I place a smile against his neck in place of words. 

“Comfortable, snuggly.”

“Are you going to come out of my shirt so I can at least see your gorgeous face?” he asks in a soft murmur against my ear, his hand moves over the cover and I can feel it on my back. He shifts in the chair and I hear it creak under our weight then I realize he is gently rocking me.

I move my head up and the neck of his shirt stretches outwards, a lazy sleep look in my eyes, I see his eyes tender, soft filled with nothing but amusement. Thank goodness this is a sweater and not an actual shirt, if it was I would have a sore neck trying to even attempt what I just did. 

“There’s that face I love so much.” 

I squish my nose into his nose putting my lips onto his lips, my eyes widen like a cartoon character. I know I am being silly but I don’t care let me be silly, I’m in love and no nasty weather is going to stop me from this little silly moment that I have created for myself.

He makes a face at me then we are both cracking up for what reason, no one knows we are just being us and I love it. 

“You’re not going to let me finish this chapter are you?” he doesn’t sound annoyed at all. In fact, he is grinning when he says it. 

“Nuh uh.” I shake my head again and slowly flick my tongue against his lips swiping upwards. 

“You’re going to make me take you back to the bedroom and have my way with you aren’t you?” 

“Yes I am.”

To Be Continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these two I can't say that enough I believe my inner/ outer fanboy is showing ^///^


	3. It Takes A lot To Know A Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio has the idea to show Oliver around New York City while he is here for his book tour however, what they don’t expect is to run into someone that Oliver knows a little too well. When they do awkwardness ensues and there is a lot of explaining to do on Oliver’s part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “It Takes A lot To Know A Man” by Damien Rice I heard this song and fell in love with it and it goes with the chapter so well. I decided to use the name of the song as the title ^_^)

Elio 

It is in the middle of the afternoon and Oliver has decided that his mouth should take residence on my collar bone. As we are snuggled up in the bed and I have the serious urge to not only pee but I want to show Oliver around New York City personally while he is home. Yes, I know what you are thinking if he lives there hasn’t he seen all the sights? The answer to that question is no. no he hasn’t. Why? That is partially my fault and partially all of the Scarlet fiasco that was out of our contro. when we first moved here, we just thought we were going to get to spend our first Hanukkah together with my mother and the rest of my family by flying them here but thanks to the death threats my family was receiving, my uncle Luca took my mother, Mafalda and the others back to Crema, Italy to stay with him. 

What ended up happening with Oliver and I. We ended up going on our own separate tours, me in Chicago and him going to Nebraska for his book. So this would be the first official time that we got to spend together, at home in New York City and I wanted to show him around since, I had been here before during my many concerts when I was still dating Marzia. 

I push Oliver off of me and head to the bathroom to relieve myself, leaving him to snuggle with my pillow and apparently talk in his sleep. 

However, it isn’t within a minute of me peeing that I feel a presence in the bathroom with me. His presence and I for a second want to say something but don’t, the next thing I feel is his chin on my shoulder, and his dark blond hair tickling my cheek. When I glance over at him, I can feel his breath, and hear him mumble something but I can’t make it out, his eyes are shut still. 

That is when I realize he is still half asleep. “Vas-tu te réveiller pour moi?” I say softly, pressing a kiss to his hair as I finish and flush, then proceed to go to the sink to wash my hands. Oliver’s chin doesn’t leave my shoulder as I do, he just stays there hunched over.

I hear Oliver say “nu uh” with his mouth shut and I giggle when his hands fumble to rest on the marble counter top of the sink and he slowly peeks at me through his eyelashes, his eyes half slit. Still trying his hardest to open his eyes but clearly not wanting to at the same time. 

“What time is it?” his voice comes out gravely and I put my hand under the cold water and then lightly flight my fingers, splashing him in the face. He lets out an annoyed moan and hides his face in my neck, making me giggle again.

“It is 1 pm. We have been in bed all morning. Well, aside from us having sex for most of the morning and falling asleep afterwards.”  
He lifts his head and his hair is stuck to the right side of his head. “Shit! I have to be at a book signing at four or Charlotte will have my ass.” 

“What do you say we get dressed and I take you out to show you around the city, before you have to go to your book signing? That will wake you up and that will keep me distracted from the thousands of inbox messages that I will have to answer later from fans.”

Oliver chuckles and kisses my cheek. “That would be great babe! But first, could we get something to eat? I am starving.” 

****

After we got dressed in our winter clothes, I grabbed my hat, my sunglasses and threw on my hoodie popping the hood up. I had Oliver poke his head out of our front door, to look down the hallways to make sure no one was around before we left the house. 

“Afraid you’re gonna get swarmed by fangirls?” Oliver teases me, nudging me with his elbow, making me sway on my feet and I laugh as I sway back in retaliation. The sound of our feet echoing through the hallways as we make our way down to the front and nod to the doorman, who gives us a nod of his head smiling. 

“Good evening Mr. Perlman, Mr. Willows.” he says with a tip of his hat, dressed in a black suit, long coat, and a scarf wrapped around his neck, gloves covering his hands. 

“Good evening, Jackson.” we say in unison and Oliver and I laugh, as he holds the door open for us so we could step out into the salted sidewalk. 

The entire city is blanketed in a beautiful sheen of white, that looks like it is sparkling in the sunlight, the streets are covered with ice and snow from the blizzard that happened early this morning. The buildings look like they haven’t even been touched by the snow, while the trees are bare with no leaves to be in sight, and most of the cars are also covered in the white powder parked on the street. 

There is a small rain of snow flurries that land on top of our heads as we begin at our building in Brooklyn Heights and walk side by side down the sidewalk heading down towards Brooklyn bridge park. I pull my hat further down on my head, so far there aren't that many people on our block but you can never be too careful.

Oliver reaches into my hoodie pocket, and takes ahold of my hand, lacing our fingers together, his thumb rubbing the back of my hand. “So where are you taking me first Elio?” 

“Well to start I thought I would take you to a bagel shop that is close to our apartment that I frequent all the time! They have various cream spreads, the strawberry one is my favorite. I thought about trying the blueberry one next!” 

Oliver glances down at me with a soft smirk that makes my eyebrows go up. “What?!!!! They are good, you should try them!” 

“I leave you alone for just a few months and you turn into a bagel addict without me! I am offended.” 

I laugh letting go of his hand, briefly turning around and walking slowly backwards to the cross walk, looking up at him, his eyes look slightly darker a little less bluer than usual. My hand takes his again pulling him along with me, while I try my best to not bump into the people who have crowded us, going the same direction as we are to the cross walk.

“Well at least it wasn’t a street fair this time.” I comment and watch his face change to a look of mocking horror, his mouth a gap, eyes wide. 

“You wouldn’t dare!” 

I grin wide. 

“You little shit! You went to a street fair without me didn’t you?! Ugh! That does it! you are in so much trouble.” 

The moment I push that button with the little white man above and the cars stop. I take off in a run across the snow covered street, my feet making a crunching sound with my shoes as I head to the other side with Oliver giving chase, both of us laughing. The people around us giving us weird looks as if we were crazy. 

“Elio! Wait! Don’t….. Run.” Oliver’s voice follows after me and before I know it, it’s too late.  
I stepped onto the curb when I felt my foot go and I started to stumble forwards. I tried to coordinate my feet on the black ice slipping and sliding along the concrete, trying to catch myself. With no avail I land on my front, my palms smacking the ground with a loud slap and I hear a ripping sound. 

Oliver crouches beside me gently grabbing me by my right arm, slowly pulling me up to my feet, gently looking me over. “Elio are you alright?! I didn’t mean for you to run goose. Does anything hurt?” I feel his hands move from my shoulders, and down to my arms, looking me in the eyes.

“I’m possibly going to have a bruise tomorrow. Other than that, I'm good.” I murmur with a chuckle, shaking my head at my own silliness, then I look down at my jeans and sigh. Not only are they wet from me hitting the ground, but they are also ripped in the knees. Great! There goes two hundred dollars down the toilet and that money wasn’t even mine but my mom’s money. She had bought me these jeans as a birthday present last year! 

To add insult to injury I hear cameras snapping left and right coming from my right. The paparazzi has found us and once they get going they don’t stop. There are cameras constantly flashing and loud annoying voices trying to get my attention as usual when all I want to do is go to the bagel shop and get a damn bagel! 

Oliver uses his body to shield me from the flashes, he fixes my cap for me, putting his hand on the small of my back we keep moving down the street, my voice low directing Oliver where to take us. While the cameras follow I can hear the irritation in my boyfriend’s voice telling them to back off, I can’t help but feel the guilt all over again.

“Take a right here.” I say and soon the flashing doesn’t seem more urgent anymore, once we head into the shop and I finally get to have my bagel. 

***

Oliver

“I am sorry about earlier.” I hear Elio say as we get off a bus no longer in Brooklyn Heights but now in Manhattan, walking among the crowd of people as we go through Time Square. My eyes taking in the massive billboards of various broadway plays, movies and advertisements it was incredible 

“Hey, don’t be sorry Elio. You have nothing to be sorry for, you did nothing wrong.” I squeeze his shoulder and pull him closer to my side. I feel his arms wrap around me in a hug as we continue to walk, a sense of excitement hitting me. I was enjoying my time with Elio and getting to see this wonderful city.  
He looked up at me under his hat, his curls flattened to his head, green eyes filled with guilt. “It was the non privacy part of my last relationship that ended it. So I wouldn’t blame you if you hate it.” he says looking away from me to look both ways, before we walk along the road heading away from Times Square. 

I shrug. “ I knew what I was getting into long before we ever got together Elio and so did you. Yet, here we are together in the big apple eating bagels, freezing our asses off and I am the happiest I have ever been in this moment. Right now, so.. I am not complaining even if the constant camera flashes are starting to get on my nerves. It comes with fame so I have come to expect it. Though I will say, the tabloids are going to get a hell of a laugh out of you falling down.”

“Thanks! Love you too, Oliver.” he dead pans at me, rolling his eyes shoving me playfully with his arm, barely budging me away from him. 

******

Elio continued to show me around New York much, showing me the best restaurants to eat at, where he could find good books to read, we went to Chinatown, and we walked through TimesSquare, now going to Central Park. When I heard her voice shouting my name, I froze and instantly let go of Elio’s hand and he looked up at me with those worried eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he tries to hold my hand again in a gesture of comfort but right now, I feel as though I want to throw up, my anxiety kicks in as I turn around to face Victoria. My fiancée. The very word makes my stomach turn and my palms become sweaty. ‘Coward.’ 

“Hello, Victoria.” I take a step back from her and stand next to Elio who puts his hands in the pockets of his jeans as Victoria looks to both of us. Then turns to me. 

“I have been trying to get in contact with you for days… why?-” 

“Victoria, this is Elio Perlman. His family, well, to be more specific his father was the one that helped me move to Seattle.” 

“Oh?” she puts a strand of loose hair behind her ear before holding out her hand towards him. “Nice to meet you Elio. I am Victoria Evans, Oliver’s girlfriend. Well, soon to be a wife! I am so sorry about your father it was all over the news.” 

‘Oh real smooth Oliver! Well, played hey! Girlfriend, meet my boyfriend, who I have been screwing around with behind your back. because I am a fucking coward who doesn’t know how to end one relationship without starting another! Not a helpful thought!’

Elio puts on a brave face as he reaches out to her and shakes her hand, giving a small smile. “Victoria. Yes, lovely to meet you and thank you, my family has had a tough year, but we got through it.” 

‘You have every right to kick me in the knee right now. Please, just kick me and get it over with so that I can feel physical pain then have to explain this to her.’

The smile she gives me makes me feel worse. “Oliver, we need to go to my mother’s house. She wants to speak to you about something privately, she won’t tell me what it’s about though.” she takes my hand in hers and pulls me to her side, and I hold my breath when she says, “will your little friend be joining us too?” 

I see Elio shift from his right foot to his left foot, he crosses his arms and bites his bottom lip. I can’t tell if he is trying to stop himself from laughing or this is entertaining the cheeky seventeen year old attitude that wants to come out and speak his mind. As often as it does when he is like this.

“I… Victoria we need to talk and I would rather we do this in private.” without looking at her I turn my attention to Elio and mouth “I’m sorry.” to him then out loud “why don’t you go ahead and go home. I’ll catch up with you in a little while.”

He nods at me, his eyes flicker from mine to hers smirking then turning it into a smile. “It was lovely to meet you, Victoria. Oliver, I’ll leave the door unlocked for you.” Then he turns on his heels and I watch him walk away, his backpack bouncing to and fro as he goes and I let out a deep sigh. 

“So what would you like to talk about? Wedding stuff, your trip? How was Seattle?” she starts walking and I have no choice but to follow her, her arm finding its way around mine, our hands coming together.

“I was… um, it was wonderful. The people are wonderful, the food is to die for, and the Perlman’s were nothing but sweet, and very different than I had expected. They are nothing like our families, they are more down to earth and very laid back. You would like them if you met them. I mean Elio’s mother and uncle. 

‘Fuck it still feels weird to say that without Samuel. There just is no Annella without Samuel, there is no thinking of one without the other and vice versa.’ 

“Elio seems nice… he seems very well behaved, good mannered and handsome too.”

I glance at her and for one god awful minute I think she already knows what happened between us in Seattle and my heart drops. “He is.” is all I manage to say while my mind tries to play out the conversation that I had with her this morning. How I began it and how it ended with her in tears, her screaming at me and throwing things at me. 

I go silent as we both look both ways crossing the street to head into Central Park. She doesn’t let go of my hand, as we take the start of the walking path that goes around the entire park. Still walking in silence, the sound of our shoes hitting the pavement, out of sync to each other, her hand never leaving mine. 

I remember when our bodies were always insync with each other no matter what we did. I would be walking beside her and our feet would step the same, the same foot, leading the same foot following, my harmony to her melody never out of step or off key. Always knew what each other were thinking and what we felt when it came to each other and now it feels like everything is off balance. 

The park isn’t as crowded today as it usually is during the summer months, but today there are a few joggers, bike riders, and a few families playing with their dogs and children, trying to build snowmen. 

I open my mouth to speak but Victoria beats me to it. “So… Oliver what happened to your ring?” she doesn’t look at me. 

“Huh?” I say playing dumb but I knew exactly what happened to it. I took it off in Elio’s room the night before I decided to make love to him. I remember putting it in the drawer of the nightstand, thinking nothing of it at the time to put it back on afterwards. My mind was so muddled with feel good chemicals that I didn’t care at the time, and now I am silently cursing myself for having left it in that drawer.

We are only half way down the path when she stops letting go of my hand and stepping back. “What. happened. To. your. Engagement. Ring.” she repeats so casually that it scares me. 

“I accidentally left it at the Perlman's. I'm sure they can mail it to me.” I say nonchalantly hoping that she would drop it. I was not ready to have this conversation but who really is ready to tell the person they loved “hey I don’t really love you anymore, not like I used to there is someone else that I am in love with.”

She raises her eyebrow at me with a look of disbelief before continuing. “I want to know what happened in Seattle.” 

“I told you what happened Victoria, I went to stay in Seattle to write my book and Professor Perlman helped me with it.” 

“And You needed to get away from me to do that? No, I think there is a lot more to the story than that Oliver and you just don’t want to tell me. You’re afraid of what my reaction is going to be. But I find it funny, that before you left New York to go to Seattle, you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself and now all of the sudden, when I go to kiss you, you turn away from me and then Elio says, “I’ll leave the door unlocked.” which tells me either you two are just roommates, or there is something going on there, which I am starting to gather that it's the latter. So you better explain yourself right now Oliver.”

My heart is ramming into my chest right now, and I wish I would have told her a lot sooner than this. I didn’t want her to find out this way and it is fucked up of me to even think that I could go on without telling her until I was ready. Or that I completely underestimated her by thinking she wouldn’t figure it out on her own.

“Victoria… I…” 

“TELL ME!” she shouts and I instantly begin to spill all of what happened in Seattle without a breath, all of it baring my soul to her as I silently beg for forgiveness for what I did to her. Not for her sake but for myself, so that I can live with the hell that is going to come raining down in consequence. 

I told her about Scarlet, I told her about the cartel, I told her about being an escort, Elio being kidnapped, us falling in love with each other. The death treats that caused me to move to New York, with Elio, Samuel’s murder, Scarlet. All of it. 

“How old is this guy?” she asks sternly.  
‘I just told her everything even about nearly getting killed and that is all she can focus on is Elio’s age?!’

“24. He will be 25 this year.”

“Did you sleep with him?” her tone somber and unrelenting, her stance is more serious now, her neck stiff, those brown eyes. ‘ hold on… brown? When did she have brown eyes? I distinctly remember her having blue eyes when I left and blonde hair like me!’

“Since when did you have brown eyes and brown hair?” I say confused which in turn confuses her that I switched the subject on her mid argument. 

“ They are contact lenses, and I colored my hair, I wanted a change. I wanted it to be an engagement surprise but… Oh my god! Stop deflecting Oliver and tell me the whole goddamn story!” she spits out now more angry than before, and I can tell she is done with my bullshit. “DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT FUCK HIM?” her eyes are burning.

“How is that relevant?” 

“Just answer the question Oliver!” she snaps. I watch her eyes start to water and I feel the guilt start to sting my guts, the burn going through my belly and up into my heart as I see tears forming in her eyes. 

“Yes… we did have sex. I didn’t just expect it to happen Victoria! I was confused, scared, lonely and this attraction didn’t just happen overnight. My intent was to go to Seattle to write a damn book not go over there, and somehow fall in love with my professor’s son! I tried to avoid it, hell, I tried to fucking ignore it but the more time I spent there…” 

My voice sounds calm, sympathetic and above all else try to keep my emotions in check as the guilt tears away at me, little pieces at a time. I watch her face closely. My heart is doing backflips in my own ribcage as she paces back and forth as I stand there like a child in front of his parents. 

“You know that it could be just a phase, and nothing more.. than an infatuation for him. I’m sure that once we get married, he will realize that you made a mistake and that he will find someone his age to be with and lonely?! “Excuse me.. You had ME! Oliver me! Your girlfriend remember? How in the hell could have possibly been lonely? When all you had to do was pick up the phone and call me up and say, “sweetheart I miss you. Could we talk on the phone until I fall asleep. But you never did that except you wrote me letters that always came too late. So you had no excuse to cheat on me with a damn man that looks like a fucking boy!!”

I open my mouth to say something but she interrupts. 

“- and don’t you dare say something stupid all of this is just excuses that I can’t handle right now. We can get through this together. We have always gotten back together after a fight; this will be no different.” 

I reach out to her wanting to fix it no matter what I think is going to happen after this woman still has a piece of my heart and always will. I love her very much, but if this is a phase then my heart must have missed the memo completely. It used to beat victoria, victoria, victoria but now all I can think and feel is elio, elio, elio. 

“Victoria, “ I sigh, shaking my head. “This… can not continue. I’m sorry, we had a lot of problems before I went to Italy and I am at fault for most of those problems, with my drinking, gambling ect. However, while I was in Seattle, I got to be myself, issues and all. I didn’t have to answer to my mother or my father, didn’t have to pretend to be happy when I was miserable-”

She scoffs. “So you call all the months that we had been together miserable? Ha! I distinctly remember things differently. I remember you couldn’t wait to marry me, talking about wanting to have children with me, the white picket fence life so what changed from there to now? Hm…”

I chuckle inceditiously. 

“NO. you wanted to have kids and I told you that I didn’t because I didn’t feel ready for it and as for this engagement, it wasn’t my idea! It was my mother’s idea and why? She couldn’t wait to have our families joined together to create some stupid empire dream that my father had in his head on how to get richer. That is not love Victoria. You can’t force love, nor can you force a marriage that won’t work.” 

I could feel my blood starting to boil under my skin, I felt my face heat up and my jaw clench at the very idea of what my parents wanted for me

“But you love me.” she wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, her words coming out in a soft plea that makes this ten times harder on me and yet, I know what she is doing. When she doesn’t get her way, she will try to manipulate me by crying. That was another reason our relationship was a problem.

“I do love you Victoria. I am just not in love with you anymore. I love the idea of being with you and how easy my life would be if we were together, married and happy. But it would be a lie that would just be kept under more lies, until I couldn’t live with myself and you don’t deserve a husband that would be keeping secrets from you. Who couldn’t give you the life you deserve, one that is filled with nothing but love and happiness, someone who can live and grow with you as a person. Instead of holding you back. Do you understand?”

"you do not make me feel the way I used to. Back then I thought you walked on water, hung the moon and all that shit. Then I realized that you would not understand what it’s like to hide yourself from everyone. Friends… family… you can not give me what he can."

She laughs, clapping her hands as if I am making a joke that all of this is a practical joke. She even goes as far as to slap herself on the knee before holding her hands to her chest, taking a breath. Now all of the sudden I feel only two inches tall.

“And what could he possibly give you! That is disgusting Oliver, you realize that don’t you? Do you have any idea what could happen to you if… what does he have that I don’t have? What makes this Elio Perlman so much better than me?!" 

‘well for starters he has the soul of an angel, a brilliant mind of the greatest scholar, the sassy attitude that would put even the biggest of divas to shame, the sweetest smile, and empathy that stretches as long if not longer than the Nile river and when I look into his eyes…' 

I could feel my cheeks burn at the very description of him in my mind. Yet, every word of it was true, those weren't lies my love for him, had nothing to do with age at all. fuck age. It had everything to do with who we were as people, two souls twisted together to try and create a better human being. A better version of each other, together.

She must have seen it in my eyes and huffed, placing her hands on her hips. "He can’t bear you children, unless he has some magical vagina I don’t know about!” she snaps narrowing her eyes at me that reminds me of my own mother when she is angry with me. 

"Okay now I know that is my mother talking. You never in your life have ever used that reasoning before with me in a verbal fight. Ever! And the simple fact, that you just used that, tells me that you and my mother have been hanging out too damn much. Especially knowing that she is the very reason I went to Italy to begin with not just to write it was so I could get the fuck away from her! You know how she treats me, you know how fucking conservative and religious she is. You know she never supported me to be a writer or to ever follow my dreams! And now, here you are rehashing an old argument using her own words to justify you behaving like a child and not the rational adult I fell in love with! God! Listen to yourself!”  
'low blow you so didn't have to go there Victoria' 

I never told anyone about my secretly wanting to have a kid though truth be told, I was terrified of being a daddy. But what changed my mind was Vimini, she opened my eyes to a different perspective, on what being a dad could be like that it could be scary at times but also rewarding too and fun. I’m not saying now, but maybe some time in the future… may be Elio and I could look into adopting a child of our own. For now, I was just happy to be with Elio and wanting nothing more than to explore our feelings, and build our relationship together.

“Vic this is not about what makes him better than you. Okay? This is…. He just… he makes me feel like I can be myself, without having to hide the shame of what others are going to think of me. He made me realize just how much, I truly cared about what people think by hiding behind the facade of what my mother and father and the social group that we live around wanted and tried to mold me to be. Someone like them. I am not that person, can’t put on a fake smile anymore, and say everything is fine while sitting around the dinner table as I did as a kid. Instead of shaming me for my faults and flaws he embraces them with both hands and holds me closer. He is the most emotional person I’ve ever met and wears his whole heart on his sleeve, and is very mature and intellectual on a much higher level than I could ever understand but we balance and mesh together. I can’t explain to you all the things that he makes me feel because it is undescribable.”

She rolls her eyes at me. “And do his parents know about your sick obsession with their teenage son? And just wait until I tell your mother why we aren’t getting married! Oh, she will love this!” 

“They knew about us the entire time before we ever even figured it out ourselves actually.” I hear myself laugh at the irony of this and I can feel myself smile, the corners of my mouth splitting and my eyes crinkling at their sides. I feel like a madman almost as mad as the hatter and just as insane as the joker. “And don’t you dare speak to my mother about this, it is not your place to say why? Victoria it is mine. So I will deal with my mom on my own. Thanks.” 

I watch Victoria begin to cry again through her anger, frustration and pain. “Oh my god! You’re in love with him.” it isn’t a question and she looks completely torn apart and horrified by the revelation. 

“Yes. I… I guess you could say I am.” That is when she gets a determined look on her face. She wipes her tears again and this time, she is grabbing for straws I know she is. She comes walking closer to me, grabs my face with both hands and kisses me, with a force that I had never known she had not even when we were dating. Did she ever kiss me like this? 

I feel my body respond to it but I place my hand between us and push her off, away from me as she tries to touch my pants.  
“Has he ever kissed you like that?” she purrs in my ear, coming close to me again, this time pressing her entire body against me, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Does he know all your fears, your desires, what makes you sick, your morning routine, your habits both good and bad? Does he know how to turn you on? And keep you that way for hours, does he know how to make you laugh to the point of shooting milk out your nose? Or your favorite movies, tv shows, does he even know your last name?! I know everything about you Oliver and what does that boy know?” 

‘I just can’t take it anymore, she is embarrassing herself and me by doing this. I need to go home.’

“Victoria just stop, please, I know what you are trying to do and nothing you do is going to save this relationship. What is done is done, I am sorry that things didn’t work out between us. I am also sorry that I hurt you very deeply but I only wish that we could be friends, if that is what you want. then... I am for that. Anything more I can not give you, I am not capable of giving you what you need and I know that now." 

I rejected her again, lifting my hands, gently wrapping them around her wrists and unhooking her arms from my neck, releasing her from me. Once again, making a point to step back so she knows that I’ve had enough, and that I am leaving to go home.

“You can’t do this to me Oliver! “ Her pleas are desperate and it hurts me to hear the pain in her voice. but when I don’t turn around or give her the attention that she is craving from me, she turns to threats. 

“My mother will hear about this and when she does you will have no choice but to marry me. I don’t want to just be friends Oliver I can’t be just friends with you! I love you! And I know you love me too! You’re in denial and it is a phase! He will leave you once he is done with you and your money, mark my words Oliver and then you will be crawling back to me and begging me!”

“I’m so very, very, sorry Victoria. I hope that you can find it in your soul to forgive me and that one day we could be friends. ” I say for the final time and I walk away from her with my head straight ahead, my heart slightly sinking of the consequences of my actions. I know that my mom will find out about this as soon as Victoria calls her mother on the phone, even in large cities it seems like the social circle gets news faster. Once they do I am going to feel the wrath of it on all sides of the family. 

My pace is slower, heading out of the park and back onto the sidewalk going east and I can feel tears forming in my eyes that I probably won’t spill until I am in the safety of my own house. I know any moment that I may hyperventilate with the very thought of my mother and father finding out about Elio through Victoria. 

I feel her try to follow me out and the ring I gave her bouncing off my shoulder as she throws it in her rage fit. Still screaming at me as she does, she calls me all kinds of names. I don’t blame her for doing that. I probably deserve it since I hurt her and Elio but he is so much more easy about forgiveness than Victoria is. 

I don't look back, I keep moving forward, lost in my thoughts in the pain that I feel in my chest like a heavy weight pulling downwards, tight and unforgiving. I was more upset about hurting her than I was losing Victoria, I knew I had done the right thing for the both of us . Whether she knew this or not. Better to set her and myself free from a world of misery. 

I look left and right before crossing the street and I keep going, keep walking, losing myself in the crowd of people who are just getting off of work. Looking around me, I begin to notice the street being swallowed up by shade, the shadows, crawling across the asphalt, overtaking my shadow that was once behind me.

I manage to make it to my street before the snow storm comes rolling in from the east, and I run up steps, taking long strides, my breath coming fast and hard. By the time that I get to the front door, Elio opens the door and is staring at me, his mouth gapped, his eyes widened, while I am standing there in the snow like a dork. 

Oliver what happened?!” he grabs me by the hand and practically jerks me inside of the front door, and we smack chest to chest into each other, as I hug him tightly, kicking the front door shut. A soft chuckle leaving my throat, when he pulls back to look at me puzzled, his clothes are getting damp. 

“It’s snowing” 

“I can see that, but you still didn’t answer my question. What happened?” His tone is more curious than worried and then I see something flash across his face for a brief second and then…

“Victoria did not take it well. Did she? Oliver… I am so sorry if her seeing me… I didn’t mean to-” he stammered nearly tripping over his words, I can see the guilt coming to his face. He is worried more about her seeing him and making things worse for me than he is about what I had done to both of them. 

I shake my head slowly and sigh a long breath out.

“Nope. She was pissed, hurt and we had a very bad argument. I ended things completely. Which don’t get me wrong Elio, I feel lighter but at the same time… I am dreading what comes after that. I know she doesn’t like you right now, and she clearly hates me which she has every right to hate me. None of this is your fault, it is mine and I fully own up to it without any excuses so whatever the consequences are-”

“Then you and I will face them together. Yes, while I do agree what you did was very cretinous, there is no way I am letting you face this on your own. Even when I got mad at you too Oliver, I would never leave you to drown in your problems. My parents taught me better than that, and I would hope that you know me better than that.” 

As apprehensive as I feel about my situation with Victoria it seems to slowly lessen as his arms tighten further around me. 

"What do you say you get out of these wet clothes and I'll make us some tea. After that if you want to talk about Victoria then I am all ears." 

"That would be amazing." 

To be continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ow that things are out in the open with Victoria things for the boys are about to get really interesting, some for the good, some for the bad and some in between.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank You so Much for reading! sorry that it is short but I thought I would leave the boys in a sweet setting to start out with. It will get more into detail as the story progresses, the rest of the story will come soon! ^_^
> 
> much love and stay safe! <3


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